Spring Break 2007

2007-04-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

Super Dork

2006-11-09T20:24:00.000-08:00

On a Lighter Note

2006-10-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

I could just eat her up. However, since cannibalism isn't my style, I'll be satisfied by cuddling her and sniffing that yummy baby head smell instead.

To the Bottom Feeding Slimeball That Broke Into Ed's Car

2006-10-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

Not that you care, but you completely disgust me. I just don't understand what makes idiots like you think that it is OK to steal from other people. Is it because you are too lazy, or just too stupid to get a real job?

I hope you are enjoying the brand new PSP and Madden '07 game that you swiped from the glove box. Just so you know, my husband, who busts his ass putting in 16-18 hour days at work during football season, just got that for his birthday from his little girls. I wish that you could feel the pain that they felt when they found out that their Daddy's birthday present was stolen from him. Or better yet, feel the fear they do because they are now scared that people will break into our house too.

It's a pity that Ed didn't catch you while you were busting out his window (which by the way, we have to pay for out of pocket). I guarantee you that you would never steal again, unless you are agile enough to do it from a wheelchair. I hope the stuff you stole from him and the 3 other cars on the same street you hit that night brought you enjoyment because karma is one bad mutha. I will continue to sit here totally pissed about the $500 in damage to the car and lost property, however I will also be satisfied in knowing that Bubba is always looking for his next bitch, and when you do land your sorry ass in jail, you just might be it.

Theiving asshole.

Patients Beware

2006-10-20T22:34:00.000-07:00

I passed boards!!! I am officially a licensed RN...woo hoo! I've been practicing as a GN (Graduate Nurse) for 2 months now, which means I had to do almost everything under supervision from my mentor. When I go to work tomorrow night, I will be on my own and practicing under my own license.

Here are the other pics I promised last time:

This is pretty much the only face I could get Anna to make in almost every picture I have of her from her birthday party.

14 kids showed up to her party. The girls from the pizza place that were assisting with the party made all 14 of them balloon swords. Do you understand what I'm saying here? 14 sugared up, caffeine filled 5 and 6 year olds. With balloon swords. It took everything in my power not to strangle the kids and then bitch slap the evil party girls who seemed to make it their mission to drive me as insane as they possibly could before sending us home.

Here is the new 'do. I guess I should have warned you to put on some sunglasses before viewing the glaring whiteness that is my skin.

This was taken in Anna's room which explains why Polly Pocket is peeking over my shoulder.

Rants and Pics

2006-10-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

You know what annoys the crap out of me? OK, besides the reunion of Paris and Nicole, the loud ass barking dogs next door, and my kids waking me up before 8 in the morning on my days off.

People who continuously bitch and moan about how much they hate their job, but don't do anything about it. There are several people on the floor I work on who constantly whine about how much they hate being there, how badly they are treated, yada yada yada. Then LEAVE! Seriously, I don't understand why they are still on our particular floor if they hate it so much. A few of the nurses have been smart enough to transfer to another type of unit when they got burned out on neurology. I am so sad to see them go because they are wonderful nurses, and great friends. However, there are a few that choose to stay, and then gripe about it to anyone that will listen.

Spoonleg recently posted about the perks of being a nurse. Yeah, the job gets a little nasty at times and it is very physically and emotionally draining. However, it is also extremely rewarding, and the flexibility of this career is amazing. I can't name too many jobs that allow you to go anywhere in the world, get paid for relocating, name your salary, make your own schedule, etc. Therefore, if you are a nurse who is stuck in a rut and no longer enjoy whatever position you are in, shut the hell up, figure out where you would be happier, and GO! You don't even have to leave the hospital, just change units! Jeez.

That's all I got to say about that.

Kim requested pics of the new 'do and of the kids. Just because I love Kim and because I'm always happy to share the cuteness and pain-in-the-assness of my girls, here ya go.....

This one isn't so much a pain in the ass as she is a minor nuisance at 3 in the morning. I'm so in love with this baby that she almost makes me want another one. Hey, I said almost.

This was taken at Cassie's 4th birthday party on Sept. 23rd. We had it at a build your own bear kind of place. The kids (all girls) got to dress up like fairies, have a tea party, and of course, make their own stuffed animals.
Cassie rates 4 out of 10 on the pain in the ass scale. At 4 years old, she still sucks her fingers so much they are blistered, and there is a bit of concern about her teeth. When the house is quiet, there is always a faint slurp-slurp sound that is like fingernails down a chalkboard to me. Fortunately, besides this and the occasional "I'm going to cry about everything" mood that she gets in, this kid is easy to please. And look, can you get any more cute than this? I think not.

Great. Blogger is being a bitch and I can't get any more pics to post. I'll try again later.

Stuff

2006-10-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Since I last posted I:

1. Attended 7 birthday parties in 2 weeks.

2. Threw 2 of these parties myself.

3. Bought a new oven because the old one caught on fire.

4. Joined the PTA.

5. Learned that if you feed Rachel banana baby food, she will
immediately spit it in your face.

6. Completely pissed off a friend because Anna embarrassed her and I thought it was hilarious.

7. Talked to Anna about why it is inappropriate to yell, "So long, suckas!" to her kindergarten class when said friend picked her up from school for me.

8. Have worked as a nurse for almost 2 months and have managed to not kill any of my patients.

9. Not finished the nursery, even though Rachel is 5 months old now.

10. Have let Cassie skip pre-school almost every Friday, just so we can hang out without Anna trying to hog all of my attention.

11. Rekindled my Gymboree addiction.

12. Got a rockin' haircut.

13. Almost let Ed talk me into dying my hair jet black, but came to my senses and realized that it would only make me look like a wannabe goth chick since my skin is so pasty white.

14. Gained about 10 lbs.

15. Got my ass in gear and went back to the gym before I gained 10 more.

16. Almost died of a heart attack when Ed informed me that if we were wealthy, he would want to have 10 kids.

17. Informed Ed that this baby maker is only good for one more c-section, then reminded him that he was the one who flipped out when I jokingly told him that I might want one more child.

18. Have done much praying about the state of this world and all of the insane crap that is going on from school shootings, to insane dictators (our President included).

19. Killed our beta fish when I put it into shock after cleaning his bowl.

20. Have not killed the fat cat, rabbit, or dog.

21. Have been very busy, but doing things that I want to be doing...can't beat that.

I'm Just Waiting For the Principal to Call and Tell Me She's Already Been Suspended

2006-08-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

My baby started Kindergarten today. She wore the outfit we bought months ago just for this day, and took her brand-new pink imitation leather, rhinestone studded, Super Girl backpack complete with water bottle.

We walked to the classroom together hand in hand. She was so excited and chatty, and I was trying my best not to cry. As soon as we got to the door, she turned around and said, "Bye Mom."

Nuh uh, no way kid. I spent 6 years both waiting for and dreading this moment, dammit. I walked her INTO the classroom, kissed her, hugged her, and embarrassed her like any decent mom should. Hey, at least I wasn't recording her every move on a camcorder like some parents were.

For about a minute, I just stood there fighting back tears. Then the feeling passed and I wanted to shout, "We're FREEEEEEEE!!! Martinis and Margaritas at my place!"

Still Around

2006-08-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

So, I thought that I was going to have tons of time on my hands this summer since I am out of school. Obviously, I was mistaken as evidenced by the fact that my last post was over a month ago.

Things in the sleep deprived household aren't too shabby, just rowdy. Anna and Cassie have been out of daycare/preschool for the last 2 months, meaning I'm ready to pull my hair out. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I've been able to spend time with them since the last couple of years were so crazy. However, two very loud little girls coupled with a very loud screaming baby makes me want to break into the med room at work and down a few valium.

Speaking of work, I returned early due to the fact that money doesn't grow on trees and kids are expensive. Right now, I'm working in the same position, but I'll start working as a nurse on the 21st. I am scared shitless.
If I don't kill anyone on my first day, it will be a miracle. Of course, I'm kidding...maybe.

Gotta add some pics of the girls. Rachel is only smiling because she knew there was a nice little surprise waiting for me in her diaper.

Note to Self

2006-07-03T00:54:00.000-07:00

1. Always wear sunscreen when exposed to the sun for longer than 15 minutes.

2. If I am foolishy not going to apply sunscreen, I should wear a tank top that is a little less hoochie, even if I am in my own backyard with Ed as the only person to see me.

Burned boobs are no fun.

Yup, Mommy is Going to Hell and She's Taking the Rum With Her

2006-06-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

Church Lady: "We're so glad your girls are able to come to our Vacation Bible School this week! Where do you usually attend church?"

Me: "Ummm..." Cheeks turning beet red as I frantically try to remember the name of the church we've gone to maybe 3 times in the seven years we have lived here. "Well, we sometimes attend ______ Baptist."

Anna: "What are you talking about Mama? We never go to church!" Turns back to Church Lady "Guess what? We went to another VBS a few days ago, then we got to come here and we're going to go to a different one next!"

The little shit outed me. Ed and I discovered that if we planned things right, we could have 3 hours of peace every night for the next few weeks by signing the girls up for VBS at several churches. Anna found out that one of her friends was going to VBS, so she begged to go as well. That's when the lightbulb went off in my sometimes functioning brain. I figure, hey...they want to go, and as long as they don't come home as mindless robots, I don't care about the denomination of the church. Well, with the exception of Scientology. Those crazy bastards can just keep their Xenu and the hydrogen bomb shit to themselves, thank you very much.

OK, so we don't win the Parents of the Year award, but we do get to consume massive quantities of alcohol while they are gone. The only problem is remembering who's turn it is to stay sober enough to pick them up.

Hell Hath No Fury Like the Fat, Lazy Cat When Her Meal Is Late

2006-06-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

We're just waiting for her head to start spinning and the pea soup to be spewed.

A Morning at the Park

2006-06-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

Oh, The Blond Jokes This Child is in For

2006-06-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at our desk, writing a letter when I heard squeals of laughter coming from Cassie. I turned around to see what was cracking her up, and she ran past me, buck naked, with her panties off and hanging from the crack of her rear end. After dealing with Anna for almost six years, nothing shocks me anymore. So, I asked her calmly, "Cassie, what exactly are you doing?" She replies, "Look Mommy, I have a tail!" She cracked up again, turned around, and shook her booty at me.

Of course, this is the same kid, who a few weeks ago says, "Look! These are M&Ms, but they have W's on them!"

My little genius.

I Have a Feeling He Ran Away to Get Snipped

2006-05-27T12:22:00.000-07:00

I have found the only other thing besides seeing surgery being performed on the Discovery Channel or TLC that can make my husband cringe and squirm and want to crawl into a deep dark hole. The other day, I mentioned that, even though I bitched through my entire pregnancy that I would never again have the life sucked out of me by a parasite baby, looking at Rachel makes me realize that it was all worth it, and maybe I could do it again.

I'm still trying to find Ed. If anyone sees him, please tell him that I was only joking and to please come home because the Diaper Genie is full and the trash needs to be taken out.

I am a Nurse... Anyone Need a Shot? How About an Enema?

2006-05-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

I finally graduated and I have a sweet new baby along with 2 not so sweet, but wonderful kids. I also have a husband who puts up with more shit than any man should have to, but loves me anyway, and Taylor Hicks won American Idol. Life couldn't get better.

Two of the hardest years of my life came to a close last night and I couldn't be happier. It was all made worth it when I walked across the stage to collect my diploma and pin, and I heard Anna yell, "Way to go Mama!"

Almost There

2006-05-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'll update in a few days. Right now, I'm trying to muddle through finals while averaging 3 hours of sleep a night. Thursday is graduation, and then I'm home free for the summer. I plan on celebrating appropriately, which means I will likely be intoxicated for the next week.

In the meantime, here are some more pics of my perfect little poop factory. I mean that quite literally. This kid looks sweet, but the amount of crap that comes out of her tiny little body is just obscene.

Sleep Deprivation Strikes Again (But It's Sooooo Worth It)

2006-05-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

Rachel Lydia was born on May 5 at 12:40 p.m. She was 21 and 1/2 inches long and 8 lbs. Since she was born on Cinco De Mayo, our Hispanic friends are already planning one hell of a fiesta for her first birthday.

Crunch Time

2006-04-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

36 weeks down, 4 to go. I'm cranky, hormonal, and exhausted. This will definitely be our last biological child, so, if we want more, we're adopting because this baby baking factory will be officially shut down after this one.

I just got over 2 weeks of bed-ridden hell thanks to the lovely bout of walking pneumonia I was blessed with, which partially explains the massive case of grumpies I've had lately.

I am finally in my final rotation which is Pediatrics. So far, so good, but I'll miss OB. I got to participate in several births which was mind-blowing. It's so different being on the other side of things. I only had one that freaked me out because I thought I was going to have to deliver the kid myself.

I was in the room with the parents-to-be and the OB came to check the progress. The mom was dilated to a 7, and was still comfortable thanks to an epidural. The dr. felt it would still be a while, so she left to do a c-section, and the nurse went to tend to other patients. A few minutes after the OB and nurse left, the mom told me she was feeling some pressure "down there", so I pulled back the blanket and looked. There was nothing going on, but I went ahead and told the nurse anyway. She gave me a "why the hell are you bothering me with this when the dr. just checked her, you stupid imbicile student" look, said, "she's fine, we just checked her," and then promptly went back to whatever it is she was doing.

I went back to the room and chatted some more. After a minute or so, the mom said, "I really feel pressure down there." Since she'd already given birth twice before, I figured she knew what the hell she was talking about so I looked again. Lo and behold, there was a little hairy head sticking halfway out of her.

Ordinarily, my fat ass doesn't run unless there is food to be chased, but I hurdled my pregnant ass over the chair that was in my way and grabbed the first nurse that passed by the door. Within seconds, a perfect little baby girl was born just as we got gloves on and our hands were down to catch her. I was completely freaked out, but the parents thought the whole thing was absolutely hysterical.

About 2 minutes later, both the nurse and the OB came back to the room to check the mom's progress, completely oblivious to what had just transpired. The doc took a look around, saw the baby and said, "Oh, we have a baby already!" Um, no shit Sherlock.

That has probably been the most exciting thing to happen to me since I last updated. I eat, sleep, eat, go to school, eat, work, eat, try to squeeze in time with my girls, and then eat some more.

12 weeks of maternity leave is going to be absolute Heaven compared to what I'm doing now.

Still A Girl, But at Least She Photographs Well

2006-03-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

I had my 30 week ultrasound on Wednesday. She-who-still-has-no-name is looking just perfect.

I'm Just Going to Glue Their Mouths Shut For a Few Years

2006-02-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

Cassie got into trouble at daycare today for calling another child "Poopy-head". When Ed told me this, I could only laugh. Seriously...they're upset about her calling a kid poopy-head?

Apparently, the teacher just doesn't realize that Cassie has a 5 year old sister, who just a few weeks ago walked into the house and announced that it was "fucking cold outside".

Now that is something to get worked up over.

Breathing a Huge Sigh of Relief

2006-01-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

What has been the longest, hardest, 10 weeks of hell I have ever endured is finally over. I passed Critical Care....barely. If I had answered just one more question wrong on the final, I would be going back in August to repeat the class instead of graduating in May. I had to make a 75 on the final in order to pass the course, and that is exactly what I made.

So far, about 65 people have gone through the Critical Care rotation this school year, and 17 people have to go back in August to repeat it. About 50 more peple will be going through the course before graduation in May, so I'm sure the number of people repeating will be higher.

I'm usually an A/B student, but I've never been so proud of a C in my life.

On Monday I start Maternal/Fetal/Newborn (I don't know why they just don't call the rotation Labor & Delivery). Now this stuff I can relate to!

Evidently I Married a Y-Deficient Man

2006-01-14T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well....it's offical....

We're having ANOTHER girl. Go ahead, laugh it up. That's what all of our friends have done.

Ed and I are over it. We're just glad that she appears to be healthy. Cassie is ecstatic and Anna is livid. When I told her she was having a baby sister, her eyes got huge and watery...and then the hysterics began.

She bawled like I've never seen her bawl before. We're talking full fledged snot, tears, and hyperventilaton. "But I don't want another girl!" Hiccup "I already have a little sister-er-er."

I felt bad for her, but what I really wanted to do was bust out laughing at the theatrics. I so need to get that kid into acting.

22 weeks 5 days

I learned from this pic that it isn't a good idea to forget to turn off the flash when taking a picture in the mirror

What I really wish is that someone would have told me that the third kid would turn me into a house. I have 4 months left and this is about how big I was the day I delivered Cassie.

I'm afraid, very very afraid.

Christmas Pics and Whatnot

2005-12-26T21:09:00.000-08:00

Christmas was great. We're still in Oklahoma, planning to leave tomorrow, but may have to stay an extra day. Our car has an engine light that won't go off so we are having it checked out in the morning. Probably nothing, but better to be safe than sorry. Of course this may mean another day of internet for me...this breaks my heart of course ;-)

Rock on wit yo' bad self, girlfriend

Cassie

Oh God, save me from the thousands of tiny little beads that came with the Polly Pocket Jewelry Maker Anna begged Santa for.

Cassie is addicted to Chapstick. Her obsession has been fueled by the cherry-flavored Scooby Doo lip balm that was left in her stocking. She walks around with it all day, reapplying every 20 seconds. Her new favorite phase is, "Chapstick is not for eating, it's only for my lips." I'll give you one guess why she recites this now.

This is the child that wanted to say the prayer before Christmas dinner (in front of Ed's entire family, mind you) which went something like this, "Dear God, please feed the children who don't have any food and give them houses. Don't let anybody cut them in half and eat them. Oh yeah, and thanks for the food. Amen." Ed is obviously full of shit when he says he has't been been playing his violent Playstation games in front of the kids when I'm not around.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaack!

2005-12-24T20:40:00.000-08:00

Guess who's husband secretly took on a second job several months ago in order to save money so that he could stand in line at Best Buy at 1 a.m. the morning after Thanksgiving in order to get me a new laptop for Christmas? That would be MY man suckas!

I am currently sitting in Oklahoma at my in-laws house basking in the glory of Wi-Fi, trying not to think of the excruciating agony of having to wait 7-10 more business days for my home to be hooked up with wireless goodness of my own. If I didn't have to go back to work next week, I would totally stay here until I have service at my house. However, my kids think I'm supposed to be feeding them or something, so I have to bring in some money.

It's been so long since I've posted with anything decent, I don't know where to start.

Kids are good
Baby is good
Husband is good
Work is good
School is good
Life is grand

How's that for an update?

Actually, Ed and I have stockings to fill and presents to stick under the tree in order to prepare for the insanity that will be tomorrow.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!!

I'm Still Alive

2005-11-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

I still don't have internet at home which is something I hope to have resolved by the end of the week. Posting from work is near impossible since we've been so busy, and the local university now prohibits non-students from using their computers. This leaves me posting from my own school which isn't a good idea since use is limited to school related crap only, and we're monitored pretty regularly. Yippee.

I promise to update soon. I have lots of pics and stories to share so I can't wait to get back on.

Love to you all!

Is It Too Late To Sell Her to Gypsies?

2005-11-06T15:40:00.000-08:00

Out of the blue a few weeks ago we decided it was time to tell the girls about me being pregnant. So we go to the bedroom where the girls were playing and we proceed to tell them about there being a baby in my tummy.

Cassie's reply was, "Let me see!" She then proceeded to lift up my shirt and stick her eye to my belly button.

Anna just stood there with her mouth hanging wide open. I said, "Well?"

Silence.

Then she put her hands on her hips and cocked one hip to the side, scrunches up her eyebrows looking pissy (in true Anna fashion) and says, "You've got to be kidding me."

"No, we're not kidding."

"You're serious?"

After Ed and I looked at each other a little worried, I looked back at Anna and said, "Yes, we are serious, you are going to have a baby brother or sister in May."

Expecting the worst, we waited for Anna's next response. She threw her hands up in the air and yelled, "THAT IS SO COOL!!"

All is good except for Anna telling absolutely everyone, including strangers at the store, that her mommy has a baby in her tummy, that she thinks it's a boy, and she wants to name it Garfield or Earl after our rabbit.

2005-10-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

I got fed up with my regular ISP and in a fit of crazy pregnancy-induced rage, I cancelled them. Not a good thing to do when I hadn't signed up with another provider. I'm posting from our local university because I have no internet service at home and it looks like it will be a couple of weeks before I have DSL again.

On to the good stuff. I had an ultrasound last week and man, is this little sucker a mover...arms and legs waving like crazy (I think he was just showing off). I say "he" just because I'm hoping for a boy, but we won't find out the sex for probably 6 weeks or so. We got a good side pic of him giving a thumbs-up. God help us, I think we may have another Anna on our hands. At least my sweet little Cassie is still salvageable.

School is school, and work is work, nothing to report there.

I need to get home since it's almost 11 p.m. and I still need to make finger sandwiches for Anna's class and bake cookie's for Cassie's. Both of their classes are having Halloween parties tomorrow. Of course we'll be trick-or-treating tomorrow night, which means Mommy will have a nice little stash of chocolate for at least a month. Hey...my Dad did it to me, now it's my turn.

This week, I'll have to post about the girls' reaction to being told they are going to have a baby brother or sister.

Oh...and last but not least...hi to the new readers that have commented! I promise to post more regularly with I have internet again.

Hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!

Anna Strikes Again (And the Post For Which I Will Get Hate Mail for Being a Coldhearted, Insensitive Bitch)

2005-10-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

Peter Pan was wonderful. Well, all except for the part when the lights dimmed and Anna informed the people still talking (in her loudest voice, I might add), "OOOOOKAY people....it's time to BE QUIET!" I hid the best I could, but still got some looks. They were mostly sympathetic looks, but the white trash family that showed up and conveniently sat in the row in front of us glared at me like, "How dare your child tell us to be quiet!".

OK, I'm not trying to be all uppity or snobby, but this was not Sesame Street Live. This was opening night of a major production. Maybe these people didn't have the water to at least wipe the food off of their kids faces. Maybe they don't own a comb to run through their kids hair. Maybe they didn't have clothes that were clean. I don't know and I feel terrible if they really didn't. However, regardless of their living situation is, it is never, ever appropriate to yell in a booming voice in the middle of a production, "Justin, Maggie, and Bobby! If you don't sit yer asses still in those chairs, I'm gonna take you out to the car and give ya'll a bustin!" Nor is it appropriate to sit in your chair watching the play as you hold your child by his overall straps while the child screams bloody murder as he tries to get away to run down the aisle. These people were asked to leave before it got any worse.

Growing up, we didn't have much money. We weren't living in poverty, but for a stretch of time, we did have to have government assistance and rarely did my clothes come from anywhere but Goodwill (unless my Grandmother bought them). However, when we left the house, we were clean, our hair and teeth were brushed, and we were well mannered. I don't give a rat's ass what your socioeconomic status is, there is an appropriate way to act in public that is appropriate for everyone. Kids will be kids (Lord how I know this well), and it was the parent's behavior that appalled me. Even Anna, queen of inappropriateness, kept looking at me like, "What is the deal with these people?"

Alright, I'll get off of my high horse. But, if anyone has something to say to me about this, bring it on. I'm feelin' a bit scrappy today.

The highlight of the night was that the girls were mesmerized by the show. After it was over, Anna commented that there was something different about Peter Pan. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was probably because Peter was a woman.

I ended up playing hooky on Friday, so I missed my test. I was feeling under the weather after we got home Thursday night and still felt that way Friday morning, so I called in. I rescheduled my test for tomorrow afternoon, which isn't a bad thing since I didn't study last week.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! I will be spending mine making up work hours since I called in this weekend.

Tomorrow, I May Be Crying, But Tonight I'm Having Fun

2005-10-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

The ultrasound went great. I have a perfect little blob with a perfect teeny-tiny beating heart. Everything looks good.

I have a test tomorrow, and have I studied? Nope. Not one bit. Should I be studying now? Yep, but instead, I'm getting ready to take the girls to see the Broadway production of Peter Pan with Cathy Rigby that has come to our town. I scored some free tickets from a friend who works for one of the sponsors. Since she can't go, she gave us her tickets. Poor Ed will have to miss out since he is stuck at a JV football game freezing his ass off in the rain. It's in the 40's here today which is crazy since it was 88 degrees yesterday. I really need to get the hell out of this part of Texas.

Well, we're off to the play which I'm sure will be much more entertaining than sitting here studying management styles, policies, and procedures. I'm such a dedicated student, can't you tell?

We Let My Parents Take the Girls for the Weekend, and This is What They Do With Them

2005-10-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

It will take weeks of deprogramming to get them back to normal. The only things my dad spoils more than his Harley is his grandkids.

In other news, besides this little parasite I'm carrying sucking the life right out of me, things are just peachy. I'm due May 15th, which is 10 days before I graduate from nursing school. Needless to say, I'm praying for a late baby.

We are waiting until after my first ultrasound (on Thursday) to tell my parents and the girls, just to be sure that everything is fine. I don't want to make a big fuss about being pregnant again with the family, only to find out something is wrong (I've miscarried in the past). My Spidey-senses indicate that all is well, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to the girls.

I did fine in Psychiatric nursing, and have moved on to Leadership and Management. There are 3 instructors for this course, and they alternate teaching the class. One is a woman who is battling breast cancer. I believe she's in her mid to late 60's and was just diagnosed in June. She's already had a round of chemo and has lost all of her hair, so she's been wearing wigs to class. The other day, she was scratching and readjusting and just plain miserable, so we convinced her to just take the wig off. She did, and came to class bald again the next day. I LOVE this woman. She's going through one of the toughest times in her life, and still maintains such a wonderful personality.

No news from the Red Cross, so I'm assuming that they did not need temporary homes in this area for children who were displaced by the hurricanes.

Not much of an update, but I'm off to bed. I'm tired and nauseated. Oh, and did I mention tired (and nauseated)? I hope all of you are well and happy. One of these days, I'll make the blog rounds again and comment. These days, it's drive by readings with no comments. This is one more reason I am sooooo looking forward to maternity leave :-)

Busy, Busy, Busy

2005-09-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

We had the girls birthday party on Saturday, yesterday I had my regular unit test, tomorrow I have my final, and Thursday I take the national test that determines whether or not I pass this rotation. On top of all of this madness, I have to squeeze in 32 hours at work this week. Just wanted to let everyone know I haven't been abducted by aliens, run away to join the circus, or dropped off the face of the earth...just busy as usual. Thanks to those that have emailed, things really are going great :-)

Here are some pics taken a couple of weeks ago. More to come soon.

Me and my soon to be middle child (Anna took this pic).

Miss Thang

They just look sweet

WHACK-A-MOLE!!!

The "What the F*CK???" Moment of the Day

2005-09-13T20:01:00.000-07:00

Me: People gave me some interesting ideas for telling our folks about the baby.

Ed (excitedly with a hopeful look on his face): Oooooh, do any of these ideas involve monkeys?

Me (clearly puzzled): Um, no...none involved monkeys.

Ed (exasperated) DAMN!

He walked off and left it at that. I have clearly married a man far more bizarre than myself, and folks, I'm pretty damn weird.

Nauseated and Constipated and Bitchy, Oh My!

2005-09-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

Other than the fact that I constantly feel that I'm going to hurl, I haven't pooped in 4 days, and my mood fluctuates more than Anna Nicole's weight, this pregancy is going pretty damn good.

Ed and I, of course, are excited. I had a feeling I was pregnant before I ever took a test. The first two that I took came out weird (the second line was so faint, I couldn't even tell if I was seeing a line or not). So, I waited a day and took a digital one (which you all know the outcome of).

I went to the kitchen where Ed was, and he started talking about his usual football crap. Just then, a wave nausea hit and I said, "Man, I'm feeling kind of bad right now." As Ed began walking toward the living room, he asked, "Are you going to be alright?" "Yeah, but I really think this first trimester is going to kick my butt."
He took 2 or 3 more steps before it sunk in. He stopped, turned his head around with one eyebrow raised and asked with a grin, "You took a test and got a postive?"

I didn't take a test, I took four. Yes, by golly, I do believe the feller knocked me up again.

We've decided to wait to tell the girls until I'm a litte further along since I've had a miscarrage in the past. I know Anna will be excited by the news, mostly since she's been telling people for over a year now that the reason Mommy has a fat tummy is because there's a baby in it. Now, she'll finally be right!

I know Cassie will be excited as well, but I wonder how she'll react once the baby is here. She's quite a Mommy's girl right now, so I don't know how jealous she will be.

We haven't told my dad and stepmom yet because I'm trying to figure out a really interesting way to do it. The news of being pregnant with Anna wasn't exactly a source of excitement for them since Ed and I were in the process of filing for divorce at the time. When I told them I was pregnant with Cassie, Ed and I were doing great, but I told them by simply asking them if they were ready for another grandchild. Dad was not impressed. He kept telling me that I could have come up with a cooler way of telling them, which I suppose is true. So, this time, I want to jazz it up.

So, my friends, I am asking for your help. Right now, I am creatively challenged and need some ideas for a really fun way to tell my folks about our newest addition.
Help please???

OH. MY. GOD.

2005-09-07T19:13:00.000-07:00

Getting Better

2005-09-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was sitting on the couch watching CNN coverage of the hurricane aftermath. I called Anna over to me and started telling her about what happened to the people involved in this tragedy. I reminded her of how fortunate she is because there are people out there that have nothing, and no place to go home to.

I can't even put into words how her response made me feel. She said, "Well, I think we need to call the tooth fairy and have her use her magic to make our house really super duper tall so that all those people can come live here and have everything they need." Oh, to be 5 again.

We discussed ways that we can help the survivors, and Anna decided to give up the contents of her piggy bank. I asked Cassie if she wanted to give her money too. Her response was, "No, I want a bite of your yogurt." Anna and I just looked at each other and cracked up. I don't know what I would do without those two.

My next door neighbor told me that they went to the Red Cross and was put on a list of volunteers that would be willing to take in children who were orphaned or separated from their parents during the hurricane. Ed and I have discussed it and will be signing up too. We can't contribute much in the way of money, but we want to do something. My city has taken in many survivors, so I'm sure I will be meeting some of them at the hospital. Many of them came yesterday, and I was so glad to hear that so many were still healthy. At the hospital, we were prepared for the worst, but by the time I finally went home, we hadn't received anyone.

Things are getting much better for me emotionally. Things were just happening one right after another, and my emotions were snowballing out of control. Depression is a bitch, and I was going to blog about what was going on with me, but I feel like there are much worse things going on in the world right now, and my drama is crap compared to the things happening right now.

I'm just glad that I'm pretty much back to feeling like my old self again, and right now, I'm going to take a break from the news, plop my big butt on the couch and watch Bridget Jones' Diary for the 10th time while enjoying a nice glass of wine and this cloudy, rainy weather.

Venting a Bit

2005-08-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

There have been several events recently that have taken a toll on me emotionally. I'm sure I'll blog about them soon.

I'm not sure whether to worry about how I'm feeling, or if I'm just drained and need to suck it up and get on with life. My stomach is in knots all the time, and I constantly feel like something bad is about to happen. I'm always, and I mean always, on the verge of crying, which is so annoying since I'm not a cryer. I'm having trouble sleeping and eating as well (although not eating would probably do me some good).

All I want to do is feel better. It's been hard for me to smile lately, and I'm normally a fairly happy gal. I'm sure things are going to get better, I just need to be patient.

Sorry to be a downer, but I just needed to vent a little. I can't talk out loud about this, because when I do, I bawl and I make absolutely no sense.

By God They're His!

2005-08-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

Part of assessing a patient is inspecting the mouth and throat. We often ask if all teeth are the patient's own, or if he/she wears dentures or a partial. The following conversation took place this evening.

Me: (shining penlight into patient's mouth): Are all of these your own teeth or....

Patient (before I could finish my question): Yes, they're all mine.

Wife of Patient: No they aren't!

Patient: Oh yes they are! I paid for them fair and square, these babies are mine!

She's Been Lured To The Dark Side

2005-08-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Anna informed me this evening that, for her birthday, she wants a Darth Vader mask complete with the funky breathing sound, and a lightsaber that really lights up.

Of course Ed's evil ass is loving this, but he hasn't completely hardened her little heart. She still wants to be a bunny for Halloween.

A Very Boring Update

2005-08-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

Life has returned to chaos, and I am again sleep deprived. All in all, school is pretty good. Yesterday, we visited a psychiatric hospital which was actually very depressing. I really expected conditions to be better for these people, but I was wrong. The staff was really nice but the actual facilities were crap. The carpet was dingy and old, the walls really need a fresh coat of paint, and all of the equipment was about 100 years old. As we toured the facility, we could hear wailing from some poor soul down the hall. If I was admitted for depression, I think I would become even more depressed staying in that place. On Tuesday, I will be going out with a mental health nurse to do home visits. That should be interesting.

I do enjoy the classroom material though. Next week, we are covering schizophrenia which is something I am very interesting in learing about. I mentioned before that I used to work in a group home where several of the residents were schizophrenic. At the time, I really didn't know anything about this illness, but now I'll have the chance.

Other than school, I haven't been up to anything except work and trying to get time in with my family. The girls are attending a new daycare/preschool and they love it. It's more expensive, but well worth the money. They are only about 30 seconds driving distance from school and work which is wonderful, especially when they have dr. appointments. This place also has an infirmiry, so if either of the girls have a minor illness that would prevent them from attending the regular daycare, they can go there and play,watch movies, or rest. This is especially good for me since I am only allowed one day to miss before the instructor has to deduct points from my final grade. Of course, if they are ever sick enough that they want to be home with me or Ed, we will keep them home.

See, told you this was a boring update!

Remember Me?

2005-08-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't dropped off of the face of the earth, but holy shit am I busy. I took myself off of my work schedule this weekend so that I can take a breather. Nothing exciting going on, but I'll post this weekend...I promise!

Here We Go Again.

2005-08-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back at school full time and work full time. The next 10 months are going to be hell as far as time is concerned, but at least the subject matter is interesting.

My first rotation (8 weeks long) is Psychiatric nursing. I used to work in a group home with people who had Schitzophrenia, hallucinations, delusions, you name it. It was also one of my favorite jobs...and believe me, I've done a lot. So, I really think I'll enjoy this rotation. My next one is Leadership and Management, which I think will suck major ass, but I'll get over it.

I am going to try to catch up with everyone very soon, hopefully by the weekend. In the meantime, I better head out....I've got patients with booties that need wipin'. I leave you with pics from last Saturday at the ceramic shop.

Stupidity Wars

2005-07-31T21:40:00.000-07:00

Those of you with kids, especially more than one know how frazzled and tired a person can get when on an outing with the kids. This can lead to stupid things both said and done. Ed and I experienced this very thing this weekend.

We decided to spend Saturday out with the girls since I start school again on Monday. We had their pictures made, then went to a ceramic shop to relax and paint some pieces.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a car with military plates. I remarked to Ed that this was strange because I saw a different car just the day before with military plates parked in almost the exact same spot.

He looked at me and said, "Maria, do you think that maybe there are military vehicles here because we are parked in front of an Army/Marines recruiting station?" In my defense, I had completely forgotten about said recruiting station being there.

Stupidity Wars
Maria 1
Ed 0

Later, as we were leaving the ceramic shop, we were waiting to check out after we painted. Anna was looking through a book, not paying attention, and started walking out of the door with another family. As I called her back to us, Ed looked at me with wide-eyed panic and asked, "Where's Cassie?" I thought he was joking. I just stared back at him until I realized that he was serious. "Um, Ed, wouldn't that be Cassie sitting on your left hip?"

Stupidity Wars
Maria 1
Ed 1

With the insanity of school, work, kids, and football season (Ed's still coaching), I'm sure there will be more scoring between the two of us. I just hope I end up the loser.

My (Almost) Angels

2005-07-31T19:29:00.000-07:00

We had these made at a local portrait studio this weekend. The quality is awful because I had to take pictures of the proofs with my own camera since my scanner isn't working. I think I'm going to get the one of Anna kissing Cassie in black and white, and have color accents put in the flower halos. What do ya'll think?

100 Things About Me

2005-07-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

1. I am tall (5'10")

2. My husband is not (5'7")

3. I used to be a teacher, but I am now studying to be a nurse.

4. I didn't qut teaching because of the kids, it was mostly the parents that annoyed me (among several other things).

5. I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). There is absolutely no way I could have made it through a year of nursing school without my medication. So, Mr.I Know-It-All-Even-Though-I-Was-Gullible-Enough-To-Join-A-Cult-Cruise, you can just suck it.

6. Even though she's too young to even understand, I credit my daughter Anna with saving my marriage.

7. I look good in red.

8. I have horrible arachnaphobia. I once passed out when a spider drifted down from the ceiling on his web and stopped in front of my face.

9. This fear has been a source of amusement for my family and friends. Assholes.

10. I cannot eat crab or lobster because they remind me of spiders.

11. I like to scrapbook. Bite me Carrie.

12. I feel guilty for working. I would love to be every feminist's worst nightmare...barefoot and pregnant, cooking, cleaning and fetching a beer from the fridge for the hubby after a long day at work.

13. In the next 5 years, I hope to move to Alaska. It's not all igloos and eskimos you know.

14. I had a "quickie" wedding in Vegas at the same place Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra married.

15. Oh dear Lord, I hope my father never reads this.

16. No, I wasn't drunk. Just being crazy.

17. I was married again six months later in a "proper" fashion, complete with church, minister, and family who still have no clue about the Vegas wedding.

18. I complain about the horrible things parents let their children watch, but I've been known to allow my own to watch mind-numbing garbage like Spongebob Squarepants and Fairly Odd Parents every now and then, because I like to watch them myself.

19. Yes, I can be a hypocrite sometimes.

20. I believe in God, Jesus, the whole shebang.

21. I do not believe in organized religion because I haven't found a church yet that isn't focused on money, judging people, or doesn't believe that all other denominations and religions are going to Hell.

22. I fully believe in the power of prayer.

23. I once went 2 years without speaking to my mother. Believe me, she deserved it.

24. We have a great relationship now. That whole forgivness thing isn't so bad.

25. I'm getting way too deep here.

26. I am addicted to Taco Bell.

27. I partially blame Taco Bell for the 40 lbs. I gained in college.

28. I lay the rest of the blame on all of the alcohol I consumed.

29. I was once engaged to someone for almost 4 years, then broke off the engagement about a month before the wedding.

30. I met and married my husband less than 6 months later.

31. I can't believe I almost divorced him.

32. I obviously used to have serious committment issues.

33. My parents went through a horrible, nasty divorce which I contribute to said committment issues.

34. Obviously, commitment issues have been tossed out the window and replaced with new issues.

35. I am terrified of someone kidnapping my daughters. Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night just to make sure someone didn't manage to break in and take them.

36. I was almost kidnapped when I was 10. I was lucky enough to get away.

37. Because I saw firsthand what drugs did to people I know, I've never touched them.

38. I wish I could say the same for my brother.

39. I still have notes that my girlfriends and I passed in jr. high.

40. I can't remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but I can still name almost every kid in my 1st grade class.

41. Before I got married I dated the following: A guy who did the Extreme Fighting thing, a Harvard Law graduate (pretentious bastard), a few average Joe's, and a stripper.

42. In my defense, he didn't tell me about the stripping thing until later. We broke up soon after.

43. I would like another child.

44. No I don't

45. Yes I do.

46. I can't decide if I want to add another child to the madness that is this world.

47. Are you kidding me?? I'm only at forty-freaking-seven???

48. I am a slob by nature. The rooms that other people can see are usually clean. My bedroom, on the other hand, is frightning.

49. My husband, by nature, is a neat freak. This used to be a source of many, many fights between us.

50. He gave up.

51. I couldn't care less about winning millions in the lottery. If I won enough to pay my bills off, I would be deliriously happy.

52. This will never happen because I don't buy lottery tickets.

53. I buy Taco Bell instead.

54. I used to play the violin.

55. I would love to play again, but it's been so long, I would have to learn how all over again.

56. Even though I'm a junk food junkie (and a hypocrite),I rarely let the girls have it.

57. Soda, juice, chips, etc. are rare treats for my kids, not the norm.

58. I can't wait until George Bush is out of office.

59. After I lose about 50 lbs. I plan to have a tummy tuck.

60. I've said that I'm going to lose 50 lbs. for about 10 years now.

61. I cuss like a sailor when I'm writing, but rarely cuss when I'm talking. Well, unless I'm mad, or have had a few drinks.

62. I do not cuss in front of my kids. They repeat EVERYTHING!

63. I have 3 tattoos.

64. My dad was with me when I got my first one. He got his first one at the same time.

65. No, we are not white trash.

66. I got my last one with my dad, stepmom, stepsister and husband.

67. We all got inked that day.

68. Again, I assure you, we are not white trash.

69. Some days I wish I would have never gotten any tattoos.

70. Other days, I love them.

71. My belly button used to be pierced, but then I got fat and took it out.

72. People I knew in high school were shocked that I got tattoos and pierced because I was always the "good girl" in school.

73. These people obviously didn't hang around me when I entered college the first time.

74. I hate it that Ed has to go back to work (teaching) in August, because he has to shave off his goatee.

75. I wish he would quit coaching, he's never home during football season.

76. When I was little, I hated my nice straight teeth because I wanted braces like my friends.

77. That was lame, but I'm running out of things to write here.

78. I've been in 3 fights.

79. All of them were in jr. high, before I moved to TX and became the "good girl".

80. I won two of them, but lost one because it was 2 on 1. Chicken shit bitches.

81. I started one of the fights because I wanted to get suspended so I wouldn't have to go to school the next day.

82. The one I started was with one of the girls in the 2 on 1 fight. I kicked her ass when I found her alone in the girls bathroom a few weeks after the 2 on 1.

83. Even though this occurred 17 years ago, I still feel bad about it.

84. Dammit, I'm still not at 100?

85. Why didn't I just do "50 Things About Me"???

86. Some of the coolest people I know, I've never met.

87. I'm finally going to meet a few of them in Chicago soon!

88. I'm sick of school.

89. When I got my BS in Education, I swore I was through with college.

90. I change my mind a lot.

91. I love rum.

92. A lot.

93. I want rum right now.

94. But I'm home alone with the girls, and it just wouldn't be a very good idea.

95. Almost there.

96. I've never had a real tan. It's not for lack of trying, I just can't. I stay pasty white pretty much year round, and honestly, I don't care.

97. My brother can walk outside and have a tan in 2 seconds (OK it just seems like 2 seconds).

98. Someone reading this may actually hunt me down and kill me for saying this, but I liked Charlie and the Chocolate factory better than Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory.

99. I have many neurotic issues, I'm in debt up to my ears, and things are just plain crazy for me right now, but I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything.

100. Yeeeeee Haaaaaaaw I'm done!

If He Wasn't Such a Wonderful Husband, I Would Totally Have to Kick His Ass

2005-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

My day started of with a bang. Literally. I was cancelled last night, meaning I got the night off, so I was in bed at 7:30 this morning when it started...BANG BANG BANG! My first thought was, "Dammit Ed, just because you have to get up at the ass crack of dawn, doesn't mean you have to wake up the whole house!" BANG BANG BANG!

Since I stayed up late last night (had to give Ed a proper send off for his out of town trip wink wink), I was still pretty groggy as I tried to figure out where all the noise was coming from. BANG BANG BANG! The noise seemed to surround me. The next thing I heard was Anna yelling, "Stop it Cassie! I'm trying to sleep!" BANG BANG BANG!

I bolted to the girls room to see what in the world my child was doing to make such a racket. Somehow, Cassie was sleeping soundly. BANG BANG BANG! Then it hit me. It was coming from the roof.

Completely confused, a little scared, and half naked, I ran out of my front door to find out just what the hell was going on. My neighbor's handyman father was on our roof, replacing the shingles that were blown off during the last big storm we had.

Guess who forgot to tell me that said handyman would be coming this morning? And he had the nerve to laugh at me when I called him while he was on his way to San Antonio, completely out of reach for me to strangle him.

In other news, I'm pissed that I didn't get to work last night, as this will completely screw up my next paycheck. I was going to work last night, then take 2 vacation days this week, so that I could have today through Sunday off before I start school again on Monday. Oh well.

Today, I will be heading to the craft store with the girls to buy "jewels". We are going to make crowns, put on makeup and be frilly girly girls while Ed is out of town. God, I love having daughters. I will be taking many pictures.

A Little Bit of Nothing, With a Few Pics Just to Spice Things Up

2005-07-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

Not much going on in the land of Maria. Tonight will be my fourth and last 12 hour shift in a row. The last one is always the worst, because it just seems to draaaag on and on.

I'll post and catch up on everyone else's blog tomorrow. I'll be staying up after I get home in the morning because Ed is going out of town as soon as I get off, and the girls will be home. I just LOVE the days I have to stay up 24+ hours.

In the meantime, here are some VERY belated 4th of July Pics (Yes, I dressed the girls alike. Bite me.)

This is Probably the Lamest Thing I Will Ever Write About

2005-07-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

OK, so we're at Pizza Hut with some friends last night, and we get the usual pizza we always get. Whenever I order, I tell them we want Canadian bacon on the whole thing, and to add pineapple to half of it.

Well, Ed ordered it this time since I was in the bathroom helping the girls wash their hands. Apparantly his exact order was: We would like a large Canadian bacon, half pinapple. Then he got pissed when the teenage waitress brought out a large half Canadian bacon, half pinapple pizza.

First of all, when dealing with a teenager, you have to be very specific. Second, always make them read the order back. He actually got mad at me because I said that I could see where the mix-up occured, and that I should have backed him on it.

Sorry buddy, I'll back you on it when you ORDER IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

Yet Another Post About A Pet

2005-07-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

It's official...Lucy ruptured her internal stitches. And we were so careful too. No letting her run, or jump, or eat, or breathe. Ok, so we let her eat and breath, but only minimally so. My only guess is that she jumped on the couch in the middle of the night, which is something I've caught her doing before.

I just spoke with her veterinarian on the phone. He did the surgery this morning and she came through just fine. She's awake now and will be able to come home tomorrow morning. My poor baby. I'll have to run to the pet store today and pick her up a nice big flavored bone.

Lucy is one of the best dogs I've ever owned. We've only had her about a year and a half but it seems like she's been a part of our family forever. Before bringing her home, Ed noticed her hanging around the school he teaches at. He didn't pay much attention, as there is always dogs hanging around the school. One day, he realized that he hadn't seen her in a while but soon forgot all about her.

After a couple of months, he saw her again, but by this time she looked like she'd been through the wringer. She was ragged and emaciated. He finally got her to come to him and he decided to bring her home. We fed and watered her, and slowly, she came to life. Once she was in our home for a few days, she began to show her sweet and loving personality. She is very much a people person, and cannot stand to be by herself. We always have to be within her eyesight. I attribute this to her time as a stray.

Our only trouble with her has been the digging. Oh, the endless digging this dog can do. We're hoping that having her spayed will help, but she's a roamer by nature. I hate the fact that we have to chain her in the dog run when we put her out. If we don't, she digs her way out and wanders the neighborhood. Fortunately, we don't have to worry about this too much since she's mostly an indoor dog.

I can't wait to pick Lucy up tomorrow. My poor baby is going to get spoiled like crazy. She's also going to be sleeping in the bedroom for the next 2 weeks to keep her from jumping again.

I'm No Dr. Dolittle

2005-07-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a dollar for every time I have had to call or take one pet or another to the vet in the last 2 weeks. I wouldn't be rich, but I could buy a gallon of milk, a dozen eggs, and a Snickers bar.

First up is Earl, the rabbit I bought after pleading gulity to involuntary birdslaughter. I decided to call the vet after having him for a few days because he wasn't eating much. I was told that Earl's lack of appetite was likely due to the stress of changing homes, and to just give it a few days. The day after I called, Earl was lethargic, the rims of his eyes were red, and he was extremely dehydrated.

I hauled his furry butt to the vet, who proceded to tell me that Earl was very sick and would likely not even make it through the night. His illness was probably something he had when we bought him, so we had 3 options: a) leave him at the vet to spare the girls seeing him die, b)take him back to the pet store to exchange him, and they would just deal with him, or c) take him home after getting some fluids put in him and see what happens. I just couldn't ditch the poor thing, so I decided to take him. The vet sent us home with an antibiotic just to see if it might help.

That antibiotic worked wonders. Within 2 days, Earl was hopping around the house and back to being a happy baby bunny. I took him back to the vet clinic so they could see him, and nobody could believe it was the same rabbit.

Enough of the sweet crap, on to animal #2. We had Lucy spayed this past weekend. I picked her up on Saturday, and other than being a little sore, she was just fine. Yesterday, as I was inspecting her stitches, I noticed a lump...a big one at that. So, yet again, I made a call to the vet who thinks that Lucy has probably ruptured her internal stitches.

So, now I'm taking her at 3 p.m. today to have them look at it, and probably have to do another surgery to redo everything. Poor dog.

Screw nursing school. I think I've learned enough over the last few weeks to become a vet.

Oh, The Trauma

2005-07-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

My poor friend Susie blogged today about how she is having her wisdom teeth taken out. I wish that I could give her words of encouragement, but all I have to go by is my own experience.

I was a senior in high school when I had to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. The dentist pulled two of the teeth, but had to shatter the other two to remove them. By the time I left the dentist, both sides of my face were already looking like I'd just lost a fight. I was swollen like a chipmunk and bruised.

Since I was still flying high from the anesthesia, I didn't care when my dad brought up the idea of going to Dairy Queen for something to eat. I hand't eaten anything all day and icecream sounded wonderful at the time.

As my dad sat and tortured me by telling how great his hamburger was, I sat like an infant trying to figure out how to shove a spoon into my mouth. The problem was that a) I was high and b) my face, mouth, and tongue were all still completely numb.

So, as I sat jabbing my spoon everywhere but my mouth, ice cream dripping down my chin, four super hot guys sat staring at me from the table next to us. Instead of ignoring them or actually telling them what my problem was, Dad says this:

"What's the matter guys, haven't you ever seen a retarded person before?"

And you people wonder why I have issues.

Bloginality

2005-07-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks for this link Leesa.

I am an ENFP and as I read the description
out loud, Ed remarked that it described me almost perfectly.

Very interesting...check it out!

This is What Happens When I Leave My Kids Alone For A Few Minutes To Post

2005-07-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

Just For You ibrett

2005-07-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

Lucy and our latest victim, Earl.

Let the Hate Mail Begin

2005-07-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

I am a bird killer. Yes, you read right...a certifiable killer of poor, defensless little cute birdies.

Sleepwalking through PetsMart after being awake for over 24 hours, I had the brilliant idea of getting a parakeet. I had two when I was a little girl and I thought it would be neat-o to have one again.

Did I mention that we already have a cat and a dog? Oh yeah, by the way, we have a cat and a dog. The perfect pets to have in the same house with a defensless little bird.

So, we have this bird for about a week and all is well. He was adjusting to his new surroundings, and we were doing well with the finger-training (getting him to sit on our fingers). Zoe, our cat, eyeballed the cage every now and then, but believe me, her fat ass is entirely too lazy to catch her food. I'm serious, this cat is the biggest, laziest animal I've ever owned. The only time I ever see this animal run is when she sees me with a bowl of cereal. Only then does she haul ass faster than Tom Cruise when he hears that Xenu, the intergalactic ruler of Scientology folklore, has returned to Earth to haul his crazy ass back to planet Dipshit.

Clearly, my ADD meds have worn off...back to the bird. Since we had brought Cocorico home (Anna named him, not me) we had been giving him time out of his cage. When we did this, Zoe got kicked outside, and Lucy (our dog) would either be shut in another room, or kicked outside as well.

The last time I let the poor bird out, I kicked the cat out, and thought Lucy was already outside. I was wrong. Lucy was sleeping in my bedroom. The bird was climbing on the outside of his cage and tweeting away as I washed dishes. All the noise got Lucy's attention, and at the same time she entered the kitchen, Cocorico flew down from his cage and on to the floor. Lucy ran up to him but immediately backed off when I yelled at her. When I looked at Coco, he had already keeled over, presumabaly from a heart attack. Lucy had not bitten him, but had scared the crap out of him.

Out of guilt, I cried the rest of the day and tried to figure out how to tell the girls that their mother is a bird murderer. I decided to pull the old switch-a-roo and get another bird that looked just like Coco.

I searched every pet store in this town, but couldn't find one that was about the same in age (I wanted a young one, since older ones are harder to train). Just as I was about to give up, I got another brilliant idea.

We are now the proud owner of a little grey dwarf bunny named Earl (or Bob, depending on who is talking to him). All is well so far. Zoe is scared of him, and Lucy has found a new buddy, although Ed thinks she is just being nice to Earl until we drop him into her food bowl.

It's On Like Donkey Kong

2005-07-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

Cheeky recently posted about "The Picture". The picture that she looks back on, unable to believe she was ever that big. (Angela, you are an amazing person...love ya girl!)

Yesterday, while going through shots taken by a friend, I found MY picture, only it wasn't one from the past. It was one taken the day before. It took all I had not to cry, and I begged her to delete it from her camera.

I am not morbidly obese, and in no way am I one of those people of average or even skinny size who sit around whining, "I'm so fat!" I am overweight by about 50 lbs. I have no desire to be "thin" because I never will be, I'm just not built that way. I want to be healthy, feel good, and look good (by look good, I don't mean skinny).

It was this picture that made me realize that those pounds that I've gained over the last 10 years DO show, and not just a little. It was one of those HOLY SHIT wake-up calls.

It's time to get serious. I've got 50 lbs. to lose and all past attempts were a joke. I'm going to start making a REAL effort.

Right after I finish this Poptart.

Oh, cut me some slack people...I'm PMS'ing. Chocolate and other sugary treats are essential in keeping my sanity intact over the next day or two. Besides, I'm going to the gym in a few minutes to make up for it.

Time to Break Out the Popcorn

2005-06-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

I swore up and down that I was going to spend my days off accomplishing something around here. I was going to do the cleaning that Ed hasn't gotten to. I was going to do some scrapbooking. I was going to read. Did I do any of these things?

Of course not.

What I did accomplish was sleep (a LOT), and lots of quality time with Ed and the girls. I was finally able to catch up on some movies that I missed out on during school.
Closer, Lost in Translation, In Good Company, Sideways, and Life Aquatic.

I liked each of these movies in very different ways.

Closer delved into the complexity of relationships, but in a raunchy, dirty way. Yes, I like raunchy and dirty sometimes.

In Good Company was cute. I don't have much else to offer about this movie. It was good in that "I don't want to have to think while watching this" kind of way.

Life Aquatic was just plain different (my kind of movie). I loved it because I never knew what was going to happen next. It was funny and strange and crazy all at once. I loved the cinamatography, even if they did use cheap special effects.

Lost in Translation was one I loved. I sat through the whole movie wondering what, if anything was going to happen between the two main characters. The writing in this movie was great. As much as it is driving me crazy that I don't know what Bill Murray whispers to Scarlett Johanson at the end, I thought it was an interesting touch and made for a great ending.

Sideways was another great movie. I won't go into this one mostly because I need to get some sleep before I have to work tonight, but it was wonderfully written. Thomas Haden Church was absolutely perfect for his role. Ed and I burst out laughing quite a few times during this one.

All of this movie watching has gotten me in the mood for more. I have missed out on so many over the last year and a half. Does anyone have any suggestions on movies that have come out lately? Or, do any of you know of a really great Indie movie that didn't get a lot of publicity but made it to the video stores?

Oops

2005-06-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

Never again will I work five 12 hour shifts in a row, then stay up until 10 p.m. (after getting off at 7 a.m.)on the last day. I slept for 18 HOURS STRAIGHT.

The whole point was to be able to wake up around 6 or 7 a.m. and be on a day schedule on my 4 days off (as opposed to being up all night, then sleeping until 4 p.m.) This obviously backfired. Live and learn.

I Have Issues

2005-06-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

I am the world's worst shopper when it comes to buying for myself. I can easily drop a hundred or two on the girls, but when I have money that was given to me to spend on myself, I just can't figure out what to do with it.

For my birthday this year, I ended up with about $250 in cash. I have bought things, only to suffer from buyers remorse which causes me to return the item(s).
This happens to me every time.

I have really been wanting a Palm Pilot with a color screen. My old one is broken, and I can't stand stand looking at a black and white screen. Instead of just buying a new one, in my mind, I can't justify dropping that kind of cash on one thing for me. Instead, I have bought a few trivial things, and of course a few new toys for the girls.

As always, the money will dwindle to nothing and I will have no idea where it went. This is only the beginning of my shopping issues, but I will save the rest for another day.

Last night, Ed told me that from now on, whenever I get money, he will take it away from me, and buy me something that he knows I want. I'm thinking that might not be such a bad idea.

What Am I Going to Do With This Girl?

2005-06-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

The other day, Ed and I were babysitting the children of our good friends, John and Karin. Since I had to work that night, and Ed still had errands to run, we put them down for a nap so that I could get ready for work. Anna was swimming at her friend's house, so we put B, who is 4 yr. old in her room.

I decided to take a bath so that if any of the kids woke up, I would be able to hear them. I left the door to my bedroom and bathroom open for that purpose as well.

I shouldn't have taken for granted that I would hear Anna's noisy bedroom door opening when Ben woke up. As I was laying back in the tub, relaxing with my eyes closed, I heard a little noise. I opened my eyes to B standing outside of my bathroom door staring at me with a shit-eating grin on his little face. I quickly covered up and calmly told him to go to the living room and I would be there in a second. He just slowly sauntered off with the grin still on his face. That evening I told John and Karin what had happened and we all got a good laugh out of it.

The next night, John and Karin babysat for us. Karin later told me that Anna had gotten even for me. B was changing clothes or something and Anna walked into the room. She gave his penis a weird look, reached down and tagged it, then walked off without saying a word.

I do believe it's time to discuss boundaries with that girl.

Early Morning Ramblings

2005-06-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am still alive. After we got back from our trip, I started working the 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. shift. It has taken quite a bit of getting used to, especially since I am now sleeping during the day. The downside of working 12 hour shifts is that I only have about 2 hours per day to spend with Ed and the girls (on the days I work). The good part about it is that I only work 3 days, then I get 4 off.

I could go back to working during the day, but there are several reasons I won't for now. First of all, I LOVE the night crew. We laugh....a lot. Working is much more enjoyable when you like the people you work with. Also, the pay is much better (especially on the weekends). Finally, nights are much more laid back. It's a lot easier to do my job when I'm not having to work around 15 family members in a tiny hospital room.

For those of you who don't know, I am a nurse tech on a neurology unit. Basically, I do some of the procedures nurses get to do. Since I have not completed nursing school yet, there is still quite a bit I can't do (such as give medications, insert IVs etc). Until last month, I was a nurses aid which was a position in which I mainly wiped a lot of booty and served as a gopher. I like my new position much better.

Today, Ed and I are taking the girls to see Madagascar. In the meantime, I will be praying for the strength to not beat the dozen or so kids that will inevitably drive me absolutely nuts during the 2 hours or so we will be sitting in the theater.

Girls of Summer

2005-06-14T03:30:00.000-07:00

It's Good to Be Home

2005-06-08T02:32:00.000-07:00

Well, we are home, and we survived.

We made it through 48 hours in the car with 2 kids without killing either one, or each other. Give me my freakin cookie...I earned the damn thing. The first 24 hours (the trip to Indianapolis) was driven straight. No stopping to sleep, just alternating short naps and driving. Let me tell you people....do not attempt this. The trip home was a little more sane since we stopped at the half-way point and spent the night in a motel (NEVER AGAIN Motel 6...you nasty, nasty, tiny, smelly-roomed bastards).

If you have ever seen Shrek 2, you are familiar with the scene in which Shrek, Fiona, and Donkey are traveling to Far Far Away to meet Fiona's parents:
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No
Donkey Are we there yet?
Shrek and Fiona: NO!!! (and so on, and so forth...lots of whining about being bored and the trip taking forever from Donkey, more yelling from Shrek and Fiona).

Just replace Donkey with Anna, Shrek and Fiona with Maria and Ed...PRESTO...you have the last 3/4 of the trip there and back.

I shouldn't complain. 48 hours of travel time in a car is quite a bit for little ones to handle. All in all, the girls did pretty good. The fact that Cassie decided that she wanted to pee every hour on the hour, whether or not we were anywhere near an acceptable restroom was slightly annoying (don't get me started on nasty public restrooms. If you ever want to torture yourself, attempt to get a 2 or 4 year old to go to the bathroom without touching A SINGLE THING, but since that was the worst we dealt with, I think we came out quite well.

Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away before we left which is why there was such a rush in getting to Indianapolis. The funeral service was absolutely beautiful. My grandmother was honored as she should have been. She was a remarkable woman who lived her life as all of us should.

I got to see tons of relatives and they finally got to meet Cassie for the first time, and to see Anna for the first time since she was 6 weeks old. We really need to travel more.

I will post more later along with the obligatory pics. For now, I am going to shower the road nastiness off of me and get some sleep.

Update

2005-05-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, THANK YOU for all of the well wishes, prayers, and sympathy you have expressed. You all are wonderful!

Sorry for the delayed update. On top of the finals last week, I managed to put in almost 60 hours at work. Most of yesterday (my first day off) was spent sleeping and spending much needed time with my husband and daughters. I was going to update then, but all I managed to do was browse a few other blogs, then go back to bed.

I survived finals and ended up with a B in all three classes. I'm sure I could have done better, but with everything I have going on, I don't have time to be an overacheiver.

Due to finals, I was unable to attend my friends funeral. Unfortunately, only funerals for immediate family members are excused at my school. In light of the circumstances, the family chose to only do a graveside services. I continue to pray for them, as that is all I can do.

My great-grandmother is now in a coma. She was not taken home as planned. Instead, she is still at the hospital since the doctors feel they can ensure that she is pain free while she is there. Her vital signs remain absolutely normal. My mother thinks she is fighting. I think she's waiting for something. I will be leaving tomorrow to go and see her for the last time.

As strange as this sounds, I am looking forward to her passing. This is what she wants. She has completed her journey here and she is ready to move on. Unlike my friend, I think my grandmother's death will be a beautiful event...painless and surrounded by those that love her. I can only hope that I leave this earth the same way.

Bad Day

2005-05-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

I have exactly 7 hours and 10 minutes before my first final at 9:00 a.m. The problem is that what I have left to study should take about 9 more hours. My concentration has been lacking today.

This has not been a good day. A friend of mine from my hometown shot himself sometime Saturday night. His wife found him in their bedroom.

I just can't imagine what his wife, parents, and sister are going through right now. His younger brother (who was a very close friend of my own brother)was killed in a car accident about a year ago. That hit the family hard enough. If any of you are at all religious, please pray for this family. I know they can use them right now.

I also found out today that my great-grandmother is being released from the hospital, where she has been for the last 5 days so that she can go home to die. This is a far cry from my friends death, but a little sad nonetheless. I take great comfort in knowing that she has lived this long (almost 97 years!) and was in excellent health up until about a week ago. She says she is ready to go and be with my great-grandfather. She is completely helpless, but not in any pain. Remarkably, her memory is still excellent. After finals, I will be going to Indiana to hopefully see her one last time before she passes.

transitive verb: upset; thrown into a state of confusion

2005-05-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

After arriving home from picking the girls up from daycare, Ed told me to ask Anna what word he was saying that was making her mad.

Me: What was Daddy saying to make you mad?
Anna: I don't know that word, but don't say it.
Me: What are you talking about?
Anna: I can't say it so tell Daddy to quit saying it!

Totally confused, I asked Ed what in the world we were discussing. He said that he was having a conversation with Anna on the way home, and a word he used made her mad.

Are you ready for this? The word was discombobulate.

Me: You're mad at Daddy for saying discombobulate?
Anna: Don't say that!
Me: Why?
Anna: Because I don't like that word! I don't know what it means! Stop saying that!

Ed (about to piss himself because he's trying to keep a straight face): C'mon now Anna, don't get all discombobulated on us.
More yelling from Anna ensues.

At this point, I am pondering whether to stick around to see what would happen next, or if I should grab Cassie and run away until the crack Anna and Ed had obviously been smoking wore off.

After things settled down and tranquility had been restored, I looked at Ed and said, "At what point during the 2 minute drive home from daycare did you feel it necessary to insert the word dicombobulate into your conversation with a 4 year old child?"

He couldn't remember, which is fine with me, because I'm pretty confident that I'm better off not knowing anyway.

Mental Overload

2005-05-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

I had a Medical/Surgical exam Monday, a national comprehensive exam on Tuesday that had to be passed to move on to the senior level, and Pathophysiology test today.

I did well on all three, but do I get to breathe a sigh of relief? Nope... I have 3 finals next week. Pray for me. Then take a few shots for me since I better stay sober until next Wednesday.

Make Me Over

2005-05-17T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it. I'm a sucker for any TV show involving any type of makeover. I don't care if it's someone's home, body, or wardrobe. I am completely addicted to What Not to Wear, anything on HGTV, and Dr. 90210.

I still haven't figured out why I like this one. Dr. Rey has to be one of the most annoying, pretentious people ever. Anyone who can say, "Her vaginal lift turned out absolutely adorable," with a straight face should be drop-kicked into a vat of the fat he liposuctions all day. I can't stand the way he walks into a room during a post-op visit and gushes over the results of his handywork.

I realize that it would be a tad dangerous to walk in and tell someone who has just gotten a nose job, "Hmmm, I've done better." However, if my TEENAGE daughter had just gotten a breast reduction, and the Dr. walked in and told her (as he stares at her bare breasts), that her new boobs are smokin' hot and sexy, I would have to cut his nuts off and feed them to him for lunch. Just yesterday, I watched an episode in which he told a girl, who was still groggy from anesthesia, "Ooh, you're so sexy, even when you're high!" I'd would've loved to have seen her father's reaction as he sat and watched that episode.

Dr. Rey may be a perv, but the truth is, he kicks ass at what he does. I'd totally let him work on me. Let's face it, after 2 pregnancies and breastfeeding, my boobs and my stomach just aren't located where they were when I was 20. Besides, if the guy can put breast implants in through a person's belly button, I think I could trust him to just lift the gals a tad...maybe tuck a bit of tummy while he's at it.

Pissed

2005-05-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

I hope that the bitch-ass, piece of shit, loser fucktards that created the numerous viruses that infected my computer causing me to have to waste countless hours removing them, rot in the deepest, hottest pits of hell. That is all.

Diva Quote

2005-05-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

Anna: Mommy, what number are you?
Me: Do you mean how old am I?
Anna: Yes, what number are you?
Me: 29
Anna: So you will be 30 on your birthday?
Me: That's right.
Anna: And after that you will be 31, then 32 (proceeds to count to 39). Is that right?
Me: Yes you are! Very good!
Anna: (Says softly to herself) Hmmmm, I'm a lot smarter than I thought.

What's in a Name?

2005-05-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

If one more person asks me, "Who named you Maria?" in a tone that implies that I have infringed on some Hispanic copyright law that protects this name from evil white name-stealers, I am going to throw down.

Ever since I started working at the hospital, I have had more people than I can even begin to count ask me why a white chick would have a name like Maria. Haven't these people seen The Sound of fucking Music? Does Julie Andrews look Mexican to anybody?

I honestly don't mind when people are just curious and they ask me how I got my name. It's just that I can do without the giggles, looks, and flat out rudeness of people who will flat out say, "But you aren't Mexican!" I have actually had that said to my face, on several occasions.

OK, here's the scoop:
My grandmother's middle name is Marie and my folks wanted to name me after her. They felt that Marie was a little plain for a first name, so they went with Maria instead. They like it, I like it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Interestingly enough, when I looked in my baby name book, I found that my name means "bitter." Hmmmmm.......

Perfect

2005-05-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

I hope all of you mom's out there had a wonderful weekend. I know I did! On Saturday, we took my stepmother out to lunch and then headed to the park with the girls (got pics of that of course). On Sunday, I woke up to breakfast in bed served on these, which were my Mother's Day gift from the girls. I absolutely love them because they are so different from any dishes we've ever owned before.

After lounging around the house doing absolutely nothing (which was heaven), we ate dinner with some friends, then came home and watched a movie. The girls got along, and I got some sleep. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

2005-05-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Just a swangin'

2005-05-09T21:14:00.001-07:00

Swinging Diva

2005-05-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

My husband was a monkey in another life

2005-05-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

Trying to convince the diva that leaving the park isn't the end of the world

2005-05-09T21:10:00.000-07:00

Worn out kids = peaceful ride home

I Get the Feeling She's Going to Be a Hooter's Girl

2005-05-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

Of course it would be my child that convinces the rest of her soccer team to pull their shirts up over their heads and run around the field, bare-chested, while yelling, "Look at my boobies!"

Turdy Poem

2005-05-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry people...couldn't resist ;-)

I have been seeing the turd poetry popping up on blogs this week and had to take a crack at it. Here's mine:

Turd in a punch bowl
Makin' it stink all up in this hizzle
Turd in a punch bowl
I wish someone would dump that shit out, fo' shizzle

Here are the rules for Turd Poetry:
1. Write a four line poem with the 1st and 3rd lines being "turd in a punch bowl"
2. Make lines 2 and 4 rhyme, using any topic
3. Tag three other bloggers and force them to post a turdy poem on their own turdy blog.

I tag Carrie, Stephanie, and Suzie since you are the only ones who actually read my new blog ;-)

2005-05-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

My babies

R & R

2005-05-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

As I was in the shower at about 5:45 this morning, I said to myself, "Screw it. I'm playing hooky today." I had a really shitty day yesterday and my 2 1/2 year old child has decided to act more like a 2 MONTH old and has been waking up 3-4 times nightly. Add this to the already limited amount of sleep I've been getting, and you get a bleary-eyed, grouchy bitch who can't think straight.

I called the school and let them know I would not be at my clinical site, and then called work and told them I was dead, but I would be rising again in time to work tomorrow night.

I'm calling this a mental health day.

Looking back

2005-05-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

I hate to admit it, but the party was fun. Apparently, Anna was mistaken and she was the only kid from the class that was invited as opposed to the entire class getting an invite like she told me.

This almost makes me want to walk into that preschool class tomorrow morning and yell, "Ha ha suckas! My kid got invited to C's birthday party and you didn't!" Somehow think that wouldn't be very appropriate coming from a grown woman, so I'll just keep my mouth shut and gloat to myself. Actually, it turns out that C and Anna play together quite a bit at school, so they wanted to include her. How nice is that I ask you?

Anna had a blast, but I think that I had more fun watching her have such a good time with her little friend. It made me think of all of the "best-friends" that I had as a small child.

I still fondly remember playdates consisting of playing Strawberry Shortcake, playing house, and dancing to Disco Duck spinning on a Holly Hobby record player. The Neverending Story was the coolest movie of all time, and the best cakes in the world were made in a Make-n-Bake oven. We raced our bikes (banana seats and all) around the block with our dolls in wicker baskets attached to the handle bars, and the best climbing tree on the block was right in my front yard.

Back then, it was just play...but now, I realize that those were the best days of my childhood. It was a time when I floated through life without a care in the world. Sometimes I really miss that feeling.

What exactly is all the fuss about?

2005-05-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

Today we are going to a birthday party at Mr. Gatti's for a girl that I don't know if I've ever even seen. Anna, along with the rest of her preschool class, got an invitation for said party on Wednesday, (who the hell sends out invites 4 days before a party???) Of course, I am expected to give up my Sunday afternoon to go hunt for a stupid gift that will get played with for a total of five minutes, and lug the family to hang with a bunch of people we don't know. I said family because if I have to go, than Ed is going to pry his ass off the couch and be driven nuts too. I'm sure the kid is really great and all, but jeez....

Childrens birthday parties have become insane. Remember the days when our parents would decorate one room in the house, bake a cake themselves, and you got to have a group of your closest friends, and a few relatives? C'mon you remember...a few balloons, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, Happy Birthday to You, cake and ice cream. Everyone was happy, and most importantly, everyone really knew the damn kid who was having the party in the first place.

Nope...not happenin' these days. Now we are spending HUNDREDS of dollars to throw the birthday party that is equal to or better than the last one. I swore up and down that I wasn't going to be the type of mother that was all about keeping up with the Jones', and for the most part, I'm not. However, when it comes to throwing a birthday party for the girls, I just can't help going overboard. How can I throw a rinky-dink party when little Jane had a bash at Chuck E. Cheese complete with Chuck himself hanging out with the kids, dancing and playing? Hell, each of the goody bags alone were probably worth more than what was spent on the professionally made cake.

So, last year, we had the party at a gymnastics academy, where the kids got to play games, jump on trampolines, hurl themselves from swinging ropes into a pit of foam cubes, and basically run around like the little lunatics they are. The theme of the party was Strawberry Shortcake, and we spent a fortune on the coordinating deocorations, goody bags, and cake (professionally done, of course....can't let little Jane have the upper hand you know).

The one thing going for me at this point is the fact that I can still get away with combining the girls' birthdays since they are only nine days apart. This year, every fiber of my being is screaming at me to keep their party simple. Just have one at home and let them invite a couple of friends. Yup, that's what I'll do. Save time, save money, save what little of my sanity is left.

Oh screw it, I'll be making a reservation at Art and Doodles where I'll spend more than we have on the perfect cake, perfect decorations and perfect party complete with the take home piece of art that the kids will create. Must...have...great...party. Did I mention that the girls' birthdays are still 5 months away?

Keep it simple my ass.

Sleep Deprived